marked change

New ADDRESS!

2009-08-14T11:25:00.001-07:00

Update whatever you need to update, because markedchange's new home is now aMarkedChange.com

Enjoyed my time here on blogspot, but wanted my own home...so I have moved on!

A Blessing...

2009-08-07T07:14:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes God has us on a long journey, trudging uphill. We can only see the dirt path with no way to see over the hill to the destination. Perhaps if we saw where we were going, we would be planning what we would do when we got there: where we would visit, sites to see, places to eat. We would completely overlook the journey. We would miss the sites along the way, the sunsets and sunrises, because we would be so consumed with the final arrival.

I challenge you to enjoy the walk you're on, saturate yourself in the experience, remember where you are walking through and encourage other stragglers on the way. Because over that hill is something far more wonderful than you can imagine. This is your journey, your walk, your story, only you can choose how you handle the “lay-overs.” God has never let you down and he's not going to start today.”

That message was written on the inside of a card and left on my car for me to find. On a day where my most earnest prayers were lifted up and trust was getting tougher and tougher, I received this. On a day where I prayed "If success to you God means you want me to be homeless and glorify you that way, I will be homeless. I only want what you want," and I actually meant it... this shows up.

Thank you so much to whoever it was that wrote that on a card and placed it on my car. Thank you for that blessing and encouragement. I can never thank you enough.

Dear Reader,

I hope those words will also speak to your heart and you will click off my blog knowing that God has never let you down and he's NOT going to start today. Make it a priority to remind someone of that today.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Genuine Passion

2009-07-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went to Whole Foods to do some reading. As I was just getting settled in my book, I noticed a young guy sitting across from me. He was staring at everyone in the room with an inquisitive look on his face. I shrugged it off and continued reading and then the phone conversations started.

"I've got to tell you about this thing that has completely changed my life," he said quite loudly. "This has been such a blessing to me and I can't wait to share it with everyone. It makes me feel so good that I can help people completely change their life." At this point, he had my interest. Was I about to hear someone's testimony right there in Whole Foods?

He went on to explain how amazing this life change has been and that if they are ready he will reveal to them what the secret is. Apparently the person on the other end of the phone wasn't quite ready so instead he made a lunch appointment with the person for later in the week.

I noticed that he had a jug full of water with him. The only other person I have seen carrying a milk jug full of water was body builders. "Mark, hey it's Brian. It's been a long time! How ya been?" He started his next conversation. This went on for quite sometime until he found someone who wanted to know the secret right then and there over the phone.

"If you are really ready to hear it, I will tell you the secret. You just stop me when you have to go, cause I can talk about this all day long. Are you ready? You sure? Ok... it's.... water. Yep. Water." He went on to explain that drinking this water has healed him and has given him this unexplainable joy. There's this machine that he bought that converts regular water into this new water that heals all kinds of disabilities. He says it's on the cutting edge and that soon it will spread like wildfire.

At this point I realized that this is probably a pyramid scheme and laughed to myself. I was pretty sure that once you tried out the miracle water and felt better that the next step was to purchase the expensive machine and then go and try to sell others the machine and the person who sold to you gets a percentage of all the machines you sell, etc.

Then it hit me. This person believed in his product. He couldn't wait to tell people. He took the product with him wherever he went. I'm sure he faced some apprehension about telling someone that "water" will heal their pain and give them joy, but he did it anyway. He called his product his "blessing."

Now, I am not advocating we treat the saving grace of Jesus as a product. I realize that money probably fueled this man's passion about water, but the way he spoke about it broke my heart.

I know unspeakable joy. I know true healing power. I know a love that can't be put into words. And there I sit. Quietly and to myself. Not sharing the blessing that changed my life with anyone.

My "jug of water" goes with me everywhere also. It's up to me if I decide to share it.

Add in a dash of hope

2009-07-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hope is a golden cord connecting you to heaven. - Jesus Calling

“Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”
Romans 12:12

“This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us
through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary.”
Hebrews 6:19

What would happen if we lost hope? The “golden cord” connecting you to heaven becomes loose as you let go of your end. Your head lowers and the feet that once marched bravely ahead begin to barely move. Progress is at a standstill. The road you are on is rocky and uneven. If you were able to lift your sunken head to look around you would see a path that is full of detours, mountains, valleys and roadblocks.

If you have ever felt that way remember that cord of hope. It's still in your hands. Grip it. Pull it towards you. Stretch the cord tight. The road around you will remain rocky and uneven. There will still be detours, mountains, valleys and roadblocks, but you will have hope. Hope in the creator of the world. The one who loved you so much he allowed his only Son to die for you. Enough said.

Thankfulness = Trust

2009-07-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

There are many ways to open a door, but a grateful attitude is one of the most effective. Learn the art of giving thankfulness in all circumstances. It will cushion the impact of trials when they come against you. - Jesus Calling 7/24/09

“Be thankful in all circumstance, for this is God's will for you who
belong to Christ Jesus.”
- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

There's something soothing about being thankful about something. A feeling of gratitude towards someone who has blessed you. But do we think about being thankful as a way to open up a door? Showing thankfulness to someone adds depth to a friendship/relationship. It adds trust. Trust that might be needed in future circumstances. It apparently works the same way with God. Showing gratitude towards God increases trust and when you are faced with a situation that requires a lot of trust, you will be thankful again that the impact of the trial fell on a mound full of trust instead of a crater full of doubt.

Ironing Part 2

2009-07-14T16:04:00.000-07:00

Not sure I want to post this...

I hope my future wife doesn't read my blog, whoever she is...

I think I learned how to iron...

Among Us.

2009-07-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, at Cross Point Community, we had what we call "Serving Saturday." A chance for us to say "thanks" to the surrounding community by serving their needs, whatever they may be. Over 450 people showed up to help. An amazing day where God's love was shown to many many people.

As I looked around at everyone helping, I couldn't help but wonder what their own personal needs were. I was recently reminded that the person serving next to you might just be in need of a blessing themselves...

As I opened the storage building in Louisville, KY, I was floored. It was full. We loaded up every item in the building into the U-Haul and drove back to Nashville.

As I opened up the apartment door in Nashville, I was floored. It was empty. She had been sleeping on the carpet with a pillow and blanket... for 6 months.

She had showed up for every community group meeting and shared many things about herself. You would have never guessed that all she basically had was a roof over her head. Couldn't afford to hire movers to bring her stuff to Nashville.

As I watched 12 people from our community group use a Friday night to help unload the U-Haul, I was floored. The girls had started unpacking her dishes and were washing them all and finding a home for them. The guys were busy doing their best interior design impersonation, moving furniture around for the best "look."

This is what Jesus meant by "loving one another." Serving each other's needs by giving them your time and love.

As I left that night, I was floored. I had just experienced a community of believers showing selfless love towards one "among us." Let me never forget to bless those "among us."

Same Kind of Different As Me

2009-06-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

Same Kind of Different As Me demonstrated the life we are called to live.

Loving others as we love ourselves.

Once we do that, God will take the ordinary and make it extraordinary.

"He must become greater; I must become less." - John 3:30.

And if you must have some kind of review... the book was great. Read it.

Ironing is the Devil!

2009-06-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I did something that I have sworn off many times.

I ironed.

You see, I have a process when I do laundry. I do NOT allow myself to go anywhere while my clothes are in the dryer. I must be there when the dryer is done so I can immediately scoop the clothes out of it and head off as fast as I can towards my room.

I then work like a madman (do madmen work really hard or something? Never understood this phrase) and hang everything up before the wrinkles set in.

I am convinced that hell is being in a room with an iron and a huge pile of wrinkled clothes. All day long you attempt to get wrinkles out of clothes...oh God, please save me! I didn’t want to see the movie Ironman at first because it sounded like a horror film to me!

It doesn’t matter how hard I press, how many times I spray starch, or push that little steam button, the wrinkles do not come out. The shirt or pants look just the same as they did before I attempted to iron.

Which leads me to my next point, and it’s a good one, with all the advances in technology how has the iron been forgotten? When cavemen needed to get the wrinkles out of whatever it is they wore, all they did was get a big rock and put it on top and moved it back and forth. What has changed?

We added heat and a few buttons that don’t do a thing. To be honest, we didn’t really even add heat because when you move something back and forth what do you get? Friction, or...drumroll...heat.

We can send a man to the moon, but we can’t improve the iron?

So inventors out there, I beg of you please come up with a new way to get wrinkles out of clothes. Please. I have shirts that I haven’t worn in months because they are wrinkled too much to wear.

Oh, and please don’t tell me that it’s already out there and it’s called “Wrinkle Release” spray. All that does is get my clothes wet. Then they are wet and wrinkled.

Noticing my perspective

2009-06-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective.

In my own life, I had never though much about perspective. Situations would come and go and my attitude never made a difference in the outcome, or so I thought. It wasn't until I read Andy Andrews book, “The Noticer” that my perspective changed.

The book tells the stories of the residents of Orange Beach, Alabama. They have the same problems and fears as any other town in America, but they also have Jones. Not Mr. Jones, just Jones please. He is a noticer. A what? Yeah, a noticer. He notices things about people and offers them “perspective.”

Take for example a 27 year old who was just lost his job. He is clueless on what comes next in his life and is scared. Jones would sit that kid down and offer him perspective. He would say, “Like all things that seem like a big deal... this ain't a big deal. Okay?” By the end of the conversation that 27 year old would not look at himself as an unemployed 27 year old who is clueless on what is next. He would be a 27 year old who has the extra time to spend with this creator, many more chances to show God's love by serving others whenever they need it, and finding out what his true passions are in life.

That is perspective. That is what Jones did for me.

The Noticer is a book that will entertain while imparting wisdom into your everyday life. It will remind you that what you are going through in life is no different from what others are experiencing. It will offer you perspective and leave you with some seeds to plant in someone else's life. In the end we all should strive to be a “noticer” for others. Because sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective.

It's Wes. Not Mr. Wes, just Wes.

View from the wheelbarrow.

2009-05-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

A circus performer named Blondin stretched a long cable across Niagara Falls. During high winds and without a safety net, this man would walk, prance and dance across the wire. He then asked the crowd gathered, "Do you believe I can walk a tight rope across the Falls?" They all replied, "Yes." They had already seen him do it.

Then he pushed a wheel barrow on a tight rope across Niagara Falls. When he completed the feat, he asked the onlookers, "Do you believe I can walk a tight rope across the Falls pushing a wheel barrow?" To that they replied unanimously, "Yes." Because they saw him do that too.

Finally, a buddy of the tight rope walker climbs into the wheel barrow and the tight rope walker pushes him across the Falls. Wow, what a daring feat! When they finished, the tight rope walker asked the crowd, "Do you believe I can walk a tight rope across the Falls pushing a wheel barrow with a person in it?" To that they exclaimed, "Yes!" For they were now believers and had seen him do it!

Then he looked at the crowd and asked, "Ok, Who's next?"

_________________________________________________________

Two weeks ago I took a little trip by myself to a cabin in East Tennessee. I wanted to get away and do some reading and spend some time alone with God. I spent some time in the sun and also reading and it was a great recharge, but an encounter with God in the middle of the kitchen floor is what I will always remember.

I started to get honest with God about some things. I wanted to know why my prayers weren't being answered, why my heart was still being broken, why I have so much uncertainty about my job and why I couldn't get a definite answer on anything. It was a real pity party and I was the party planner.

I felt the question, "Do you trust me?". Yes, yes of course I do. "No... do you trust the plans I have for you?". Yes...I do. I don't know what they are, but I trust you. "Will you follow me where I lead?". Right then and there I knew I had come to a crossroads. I decided then that I was either going to stand up from the kitchen floor and live my life for myself and leave behind all this suffering and uncertainty of my life or I was going to stand up and know without a doubt that I would follow Christ wherever he leads.

To be honest, it wasn't an automatic decision. I wish I could be the perfect Christian and tell you that I knew immediately. No, it hurt to say "Lord, wherever you lead...I will follow. I surrender my life and career to you."

That was on a Friday. On Monday, I lost my job.

I wish I could tell you I knew where this wheelbarrow is going, but I am not the one pushing it. I do know this though. Below me is a deep valley of doubt, depression and fear and I am safely above it in the arms of a Savior.

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." - Hebrews 11:1

You got Churched!!!

2009-05-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Matthew Paul Turner’s book, Churched. He tells the story of his childhood growing up in a fundamentalist Baptist church and school. First, I have to tell the author something. You better be glad you are older than me and beat me to this book, because if you didn’t write it I would have!

I related to almost every story in this book. I felt the uneasiness Turner feels growing up trying to “win” souls for Jesus all the while trying to live the perfect life so we won’t be punished. (In Turner’s case, hoping his mom wouldn’t die in a car accident because he sinned)

Stories from his school days also echoed my experiences. I still remember the time in 2nd grade when I cheated on the spelling test bonus word. It was “firefighter.” I knew I had all the other ones correct, but wasn’t sure on this one. So I slid my spelling word list out of my book and looked at how to spell “firefighter.” I got a 105 on the test. I took my sheet, with smiley faced sticker attached, to my mom who was waiting in the car to pick me up. For some reason, I still have no idea why but I imagine it had to do with God killing us all on the way home, I told her that I cheated. That didn’t go over well. The next day, I was crying in my teachers arms telling her that I had cheated on the word “firefighter.” My 105 was crossed out and I only got a 100. My sticker was also taken away.

This book had me laughing out loud at some of the experiences the author had. Everyone’s journey is different, but I felt a connection with this story. I vividly remember the “wheat and the tear” preachers that came through my church and knew it was time for the entire congregation to get saved again. I remember the music minister calling a meeting with me to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to hang out at youth group hangouts at his house because he could tell by looking at me that I wasn’t living "right."

As you can tell, this book took me down memory road, but it also allowed me to get a better sense of my own journey. How I got to where I am and how thankful I am that I found out who God really is to me. Also, the style of writing in this book draws you in from page 1 and you can clearly picture every situation that is presented. It was a nice break from the usual Christian(ish) books that we tend to find ourselves reading.

From burning CD’s for Jesus (I’m still happy I burned New Kids on the Block) to walking door to door to tell people they are going to hell, Turner goes from the a mess of rules and regulations to falling in love with Jesus. I recommend this book to anyone, but especially for those who grow up “Churched.” It offers a humorous look into one person’s childhood and transition from a “God of Punishment” to a “God of Love.”

Also, even though I have yet to met the author, I do go to church with him and that's always pretty cool. I still can't believe Pete doesn't have highlights...

One foot in front of the other...

2009-04-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

The race was on. People all around me were just as excited as I was. I felt good, I felt really good. Everyone was encouraging and running along right beside me.

I was strong. I was knocking the markers of my race down quickly. Nothing could stop me. I did notice however, that there wasn't as many people around me as when I started.

The elation and excitement started to subside as I got deeper into the race. I started to get a little comfortable and settled in nicely. Once again however, the crowd thinned out a little more.

I started to feel a little pain that seemed like it was holding me back a little. It would come and go, but each time it came it would be a little more intense and hold me back a little more. I knew that I had to just trust that I could move past this pain.

The race started to get tough, but I was managing. Then I saw it. The hill. The biggest test yet. It seemed insurmountable. I started to wonder if I made the right decision. If this race was really worth it.

Once I made it over the hill, I felt much better and was able to look forward to what was next. There were a few people around me for the hill. They made it with me.

Suddenly, I noticed that I was alone. Not only was I alone, I was walking. I was still moving in the race, but it was at a snails pace. I felt awful. Felt like I let myself down.

Along the sides were people who had quit. They had enough and had given up. I looked at them and thought about joining them, but I didn't see relief on their faces. Just exhaustion. Perhaps if people were around to just give them encouragement they wouldn't have quit.

Every now and then I would start running again, but I have to be honest, I wanted to just be comfortable at this point. To just sit back and watch instead of persevering, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other.

Why?

Because there was something at the end waiting for me.

Then I realized that I wasn't alone at all. There were people all around me going through the same thing I was going through. I just focused so much on my own pain, that I failed to see them. I pulled strength knowing that I wasn't alone after all.

Then I turned a corner and saw it. I will never forget the feeling of seeing it.

The finish line.

I could barely move, beaten up from the race, but there was no stopping me. I was going to finish. People that had already finished were lined up, screaming for me to keep going. I was almost there.

With tears welling up in my eyes, it all became worth it. I crossed the finish line. I had run the race. The end was the best part.

I will tell you about my experience running a marathon another time, this was about living the Christian life.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. - Hebrews 12:1

If you have given up and are on the sidelines just watching, I pray that God's love will surround you and you would know that you aren't alone.

Support my boy Pete!

2009-04-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Pete Wilson is a friend of mine who is off to India for 10 days. He will be blogging from India, so while we pray for wisdom, safety and guidance, we can also keep tabs on him by clicking the link below.

Pete, I pray that God does whatever is necessary to bring you closer to him therefore allowing more love to shine through you in India.

Wisdom from an 8 year old...

2009-04-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

I know many of you know about my lunch buddy, Malique. I have plastered photos and quotes by him all over Twitter and Facebook. He's a special kid who I have learned a lot from.

To be honest, when I first started having a lunch buddy I had the mindset of "I am going to do a good thing. I will help this kid. I will serve." Now I think Malique is the one who signed up for the lunch buddy program.

I could see him walking up to the program director and saying, "I want to help. Give me a 27 year old man who is trying to learn to love and let him spend some time with me. I will whip him into shape."

A few weeks ago I showed up at my normal time expecting to see Malique in line for lunch, he wasn't there. I asked some of his classmates where he was and they told me that he got in trouble and was in the classroom. I walked down there and he came walking out and his face was upset. He began to explain to me that a boy in his class wouldn't stop talking to him so they both got in trouble. (I suspect he wasn't that innocent, but I used to do the same thing.)

A week later I asked him about getting in trouble and if the rest of the day went ok. He was picking up some kind of food with his fork and said: "Yeah, it went fine. You know, I just had to turn my day around."

How many times do we let the small things effect the rest of our day?

Sometimes Malique doesn't drink his milk. He just eats and then throws it away, but he always gets strawberry milk. So one week, I grabbed it and drank it. It was gross. I said, "Malique, how do you drink this stuff? This is nasty." He said that he liked it and that was that.

Wednesday, we were sitting and talking and I noticed he had a chocolate milk. I assumed he got it because I told him strawberry milk was gross and he wanted to be like me. I asked him why he got Chocolate Milk instead of strawberry this time and what he said has opened my eyes this week.

He said, "I didn't get it for me."

He got it for me.

Keep teaching me Malique. Preach on brother.

Fried Goodness...

2009-04-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

Me and my friend Cristin (who is the coolest girl I know! @PrincessWaffles on Twitter!) gave up fried foods for Lent. 46 days without potato chips, french fries, wings, Pei Wei, Chick-Fil-A, etc... anything fried!

It was rough, but we made it.... and here's the proof!

Roger and Me

2009-03-18T11:40:00.000-07:00

I challenged God today.

I was upset and angry and had to get away from the office. Take a walk.

I was doubting the very existence I was so mad.

I took a look at the trees and the grass and immediately took back what I had just said. This isn't by accident. I just needed a reminder I guess.

I walked over to the gas station to compose myself and get a drink. I noticed a homeless man carrying a box. We passed each other and I continued on into the store.

I bought a Powerade and a Sunkist. My two favorite drinks. I walked out trying my best to say "I trust you God. I trust you with my life" over and over and then I walked by the homeless man again.

He was sitting in a parking spot drawing on the cardboard. I immediately felt the stirring to give him one of my drinks.

I told God, "No, not this time. I worked hard for this money I just spend. I want this drink. Besides, not after what just happened to me."

I got about 15 steps past the man, when I said "FINE!" and turned around. I walked up to the man and said "You thirsty?" and handed him the Powerade.

He said, "You don't have to do this. I will be fine." I just said, "I felt like I needed to. God bless you." Then I turned to walk away. I was still mad.

Then I heard, "Hey!" I turned around and he said something I couldn't understand. Then he motioned for me to come over.

I walked over and he started talking about some things I couldn't really understand. He was covering all kinds of topics and then I noticed what he was drawing.

I asked him about it and he started explaining it. He had drawn a picture of the hand of God pointing down and a cross. He had all kinds of random messages written. He asked me to read it aloud.

I did.

He then asked me to read it again, but this time slow down and not to go in order. He explained that I was taught to read a certain way, but he made this to be read any way you want it read.

I read it aloud. I then turned to him and asked him if he was saved. He said, "Oh yes", and then pulled out all kinds of literature about knowing God and even a small study of the book of John.

He asked me again to read it aloud, to make it my own. I did. Suddenly my prayer from this morning came flooding back to me. "Lord, let your love be shown in my life today". I guess I didn't expect to be the one on the receiving end.

Then a song that I listened to on the way to work entered my mind and these are some of the lyrics:

He sleeps under stars, it’s all he can afford
His blanket’s an old coat he’s had since the war
He stands on the corner of Carter and Vine
But I pretend not to see him for the twenty-first time

He may be a drifter who’s grown old and gray
But what if it’s Jesus and I walk away
I say I’m the body and drink of the wine
But I pretend not to see him for the twenty-first time

I walked away from that meeting with Roger feeling renewed and alive. I believe that was a meeting God desperately wanted me to have.

Thank you Roger.

Just something about...

2009-03-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

There's just something about seeing someone who doesn't have a lot of material possessions, probably hasn't read all the books that most of us have and might not have the family and friends that we have, worship God. They don't have much, but they have the hope in Christ. What else do we really need? I strive to be more like them.

Marathon Run...

2009-02-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

This is a video I made recently that explains why I decided to run the marathon. After watching it, take a look at:

Marathon Page

There you can take a look at the names of the people I am running for and also give if you are led to.

Almost there!

My man crush

2009-02-15T18:52:00.000-08:00

I am coming clean. It is time. I have a man crush on Pete Wilson.

Many of my friends have been aware of this ever since I started attending Cross Point Community Church several months ago and are probably planning an intervention soon, but I can’t help it.

Yes, he has great hair, dresses really well, loves LOST, has a beautiful wife and 3 of the cutest kids around, (he’s also taller than Keith Urban) but the real reason I have this man crush is that he is real.

We just finished a series at Cross Point called “Paralyzed: Frozen By Fear” and it was life changing for many.

Pete went first and shared his struggles and fears in his life. Something I have never seen a pastor do. He is not the pastor of the church that is on a pedestal. He is human. He is not a “preacher,” he is a friend. Because he went first, many were able to go second.

A man went home after learning about the fear of insignificance and burned $6,000 worth of pot, hundreds of people surrendered their fears by writing them on a card and placing them before the cross, and for me personally it has challenged me daily.

What is my fear? What is my wound?

I was taught to never say your fears aloud because the devil will hear it and attack you with it. So, I never did. Now if find myself not only writing my fear on a card and placing it at the foot of a cross, but also publishing it on the internet for the world to see.

I fear never sharing my life with someone else. Singleness.

I fear having my heart broken again.

I fear missing my purpose in life.

What I have learned through this series is that we are not wired for fear. We are wired for faith. I believe that God sent His Son to die on the cross for my sins and rose 3 days later. I believe by accepting that sacrifice into my heart, I will spend eternity in heaven with God.

So why do many of us trust God with our eternity, but not tomorrow?

Why am I so concerned about my fears? The answer is simple. I believe I control it. It seems logical to me that I would be responsible for my purpose in life and finding the woman of my dreams.

My fear problem is a faith problem.

One of the most common phrases in the Bible is “do not fear” and most of the time it is followed up with “for I am with you.” (ex. Isaiah 41:10)

So now that I know what my fear is and that my fear is a faith problem, what do I do about it?

Matthew 6:25-34.

Romans 12:2.

Unless I surrender my fears to God, I will continue to fear it.

It’s time for a transfer. Western Union style.

From: Me

To: God

Subject: My fears.

Price: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

So there it is. For all to see. Except they are no longer my fears, they are now my surrendered fears. It might take a daily transfer for years, but those fears will no longer establish the limits of my life. No longer will they keep me average.

I was wired for faith, not fear. No longer will I be paralyzed.

I encourage anyone who is struggling with any kind of fear to go to www.CrossPoint.tv and check out the series. This entry came from my notes during the series.

I am crossing my fingers that the next series is not about “The dangers of a man crush”.

That would be tragic.

So, two guys walk into a theatre...

2009-02-06T23:31:00.000-08:00

Let me set the scene for you: Opening night of the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You". I am standing in the lobby of the theatre with my buddy Kyle. We both look around and look at each other and we were instantly thinking the same thing, "This is the greatest idea ever!" We were the only males in the lobby. The place was packed with females who in about 2 hours will be begging to experience what they just saw on the movie screen.

Now, let me just clarify, we were meeting some friends (female) there. We saved them seats and all, but in actuality we might as well have been by ourselves. I mean we came and left on our own. I even waited for him outside of the mens bathroom after the movie.

If you have never been to opening night of a chick flick you are missing out! There were at least 5 times that every female in the place said IN UNISON: Awwwwwwwwww! It was great stuff. Is there a more positive word that a female can say than, "awwwww"?

Anyway, "He's Just Not That Into You" tells several stories about life, love and the decisions that are made in both. The movie itself was good. Probably the most predictable movie I have been to in a while, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I have to admit though, I love chick flicks. I love them. There is something about watching two people fall head over heals in love with one another that is both satisfying and inspiring.

I left the theatre tonight with a good feeling and some insight (and also Kyle). Isn't that why we go see movies? To feel. Whether it's sadness, happiness, laughter, etc... we all want to feel.

What did I learn from this movie? I can tell you that more times than not, she will not be that into me. But we all keep moving on. Keep opening ourselves up and taking chances so that one day we can say "He/She is that into me".

When's opening night of the next chick flick?

Apple pies and coffee

2009-01-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

I just walked into my room and saw my bed.

I am about to get underneath the covers and sleep soundly in a heated home. I will wake up refreshed tomorrow, ready for what the day brings me. How badly I take that for granted.

Tonight, me and some friends headed out in the bitter cold to hand out clothes, apple pies and coffee to the homeless. I went into it expecting to "feel" something, whether it be self gratification or God's approval. I felt nothing the entire time.

Until I saw my bed.

That's when my heart broke for the men and women we spoke to tonight. They were bundled up on benches preparing for a long night and eagerly took our coffee and apple pies. They were all very thankful and responded in an unusual way when we told them that we just wanted to share God's love. They would say, "I know I am blessed".

Could I say that if I was in their situation?

I was the one who got the blessing tonight, because my eyes were opened a little more to this world that we live in and what my role is while I am here. Why should I feel God's approval when I was just doing what he does for me everyday: showing love.

"This is the story of God: It was not enough to send an angel or prophet or any other, for an issue of love, you must go yourself. And so God came. This is the story of Jesus." - Soul Cravings

Without love, there is no God. Without God, there is no love.

Showing others love is a lifestyle, not a diet.

So thank you to David, Darryl, Gary, Michelle, Tony, James, Dwayne and Marco for blessing me tonight. I pray that you are warm and that you know that God loves you.

___________________________________________________

Quick story about Marco: We couldn't tell if he needed help or not and didn't want to ask him if he really didn't. It wasn't until we saw him picking up something off the ground that we decided to move in. He quickly and graciously accepted what we had to offer and then said this:

"I just picked up a penny that was on heads off the ground and then you showed up. I was like...Man, that was QUICK! Usually it takes a while for the good luck!"

Soul Cravings - Intimacy

2009-01-11T19:28:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading a book called, Soul Cravings and it has already opened my eyes to what my soul craves. I am barely 50 pages into the book and I have already learned about my craving for intimacy and what that means.

I wanted to leave you with some notes that I jotted down that deal with love. Once we accept that we are designed for love, then we can learn about our soul cravings, understand them and know where they came from.

A few things I have learned:

- There is no subject more discussed among human beings that is more captivating and more elusive than love.

- How is it that the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can also leave you gutted, like a dead fish wrapped in a
day-old newspaper.

- The more you love someone, the more the person can hurt you.

- Sex is a shortcut to love. There is no such thing as "free sex". It always comes at a cost. Either your heart, or your soul.

- To give up on love is to choose a life that is less than human. To give up on love is to give up on life.

- The most powerful evidence that our souls crave God is that within us there is a longing for love.

- We are created to know God and to know love. It is love that moves God toward us and love that pulls us toward God.
Follow love and it will leave you to God.

- Without love there is no life. To love is to be fully human.

- God is the One we deserve the least, the One we need the most and the One who desires us the most.

- If God is love, it is maddening when we are running from God and yet searching for love.

- It is insanity to run from God and search for love.

Childlike Ambition

2009-01-07T17:40:00.000-08:00

Anna Leva and Mika are 5 and 6 years old. They recently decided that they wanted to get married. They didn't have some fake wedding ceremony with their parents where everyone said, "how cute". Nope, they took it a few steps further. They packed a bathing suit and sunglasses in a backpack and grabbed Anna Leva's sister, so she could serve as their witness, and they set out on their quest.

They left early one morning, before their parents were awake. Their destination? Africa. "It's warm there," they would later say. They claimed that they were "very much in love" and hatched their plan to get married after their families spent New Years Eve together.

They walked over a half a mile to the train station where police noticed three unattended kids waiting for a train and became suspicious. They had no money or passports, just childlike ambition.

Reading this story made me smile just like everyone else, but after a while I drew a parallel to my own life with it. Can we compare this story to what Christ wants with us?

"Wes, come with me. I want to take you on a journey."

"Now? What about-"

"Don't worry about that, just come. I promise that I will never leave you or forsake you."

"But what will people think? What about-"

"Wes, you are my child. I love you more than you will ever know. My will is perfect and pleasing and good."

"Can we go later? Now is just a really bad time."

Why is it so hard to drop everything and follow Him? Why is it so hard to have that childlike ambition that throws caution to the wind? Why did I put this journey off for 7 years and why was he still willing to take me on this journey?

"...nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39

We can't dwell on the "why". We will never be able to comprehend just how much God loves us.

"God... all I have is me. I have nothing to bring with me."

"You are all I ever wanted."

The plans of man

2009-01-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

"When you plan your life on the success of plans that are subject to people and circumstances, your life will be one long, emotional roller coaster ride."

I read this in my morning devotional and it hit me hard. Like a ton of bricks. I am guilty of this. I have actually used the word "emotional roller coaster" to describe things I am going through. When I make plans for myself that depend on circumstances or other people in order to be successful, I am asking for trouble.

People aren't perfect.

Circumstances change.

There is someone/something that is perfect and has never changed though: Christ and his love.

In order to get off this emotional roller coaster, one must walk by faith. Easier said (or typed) than done, I know. It's a frightening thing to give up control over a situation and just walk by faith.

I am terrified of the unknown, and giving up something in favor of the unknown is paralyzing. Which brings me to a plug.

The church I attend, Cross Point Community Church, is starting a new series next week called "Paralyzed: Frozen by Fear". (Check out the website and take a look at the promo video).

For me personally, this news could not have come at a better time. It is past time to stop making plans that rely on others to complete.

It is past time to give up the fear and become fearless.

Grand Example (Part 2)

2009-01-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Part 2 of my "Grand Example". Ladies and Gents, my grandfather:

My grandfather was lying in bed, getting weaker and weaker by the second. Old age had finally caught up with him and was slowly sneaking up his body. He was comfortable and at home, it was now just a matter of time. Melba, the woman that takes care of him was in his room doing some things and noticed that he was staring at the ceiling. He had a blank look on his face and seemed to be staring through the ceiling at something. His eyes were focused and intense.

Let me back up a little bit before I get too far into this story. Let’s head back 62 years, back when my grandfather was a spry 29-30 year old. He was getting his haircut in a barbershop when a young girl walked by the window. The barber stopped cutting his hair and then said, “There goes the prettiest woman in the city.” My grandfather sat in silence, but I would have expected at least a small grin appeared on his face as he knew exactly who the “pretty woman” was. It was Rosa Lee, the great love of his life, his fiancée. They had met on a blind date that my grandfather didn’t want to go on, but did for the sake of his friend.

For the next 63 years, my grandfather and grandmother would live together. The only time they were apart was when he was serving his country in World War II. They shared a bond that we can only dream to have with someone. They had 3 children together and then experienced 12 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren.

In 2005, his wife passed away. She had been declining in health for years and her mind had also been lost at times. There were times where she would ask him, “Who are you?” He would reply, “I am your husband Rosa Lee.” She would then say that he was mistaken and to please leave her room. I am sure it pained him to not be recognized by his beautiful bride of so many years, but he didn’t let on that it did. He made sure that she got to spend her last few years with him at home and took the best care of her that you can expect. After she passed he went on living. Looking forward to seeing his family and writing his autobiography.

“What are you looking at Mr. John?” Melba asked. No response.

“Do you see Jesus, Mr. John?” No response.

He continued to stare at the ceiling with his eyes focused on something. After a few moments she asked,

“Do you see Mrs. Rosa Lee?”

Immediately after he heard those words, the biggest smile appeared on his face and he didn’t stop smiling the whole time he was staring ahead. His bride of 63 years recognized him again. Now she was welcoming him home. They would be together again.

He passed away that day.

A Grand Example (Part 1)

2008-12-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

"One day you are going to regret not visiting your grandparents more often. They won't be around forever."

I have heard that sentence many times in my short life. I always heard it and let it go in one ear and out the other. When you are young it's hard to think past the next hour much less look years into the future. I mean I thought my grandparents life started when I was born, who knew that they were once my age? Well they were and let me tell you, I come from some good genes! My grandmother was absolutely beautiful:

I always wonder what she was doing when this picture was taken. What was she thinking? Was she facing any trials or tribulations at this point in her life? If she was, I can guarantee you that she was counting it all joy because she lived her life for her personal savior, Jesus Christ.

Now my grandmother was a peculiar person. She was so conservative that she makes Rush Limbaugh look like a left wingnut liberal. Rumor is that she wouldn't allow her kids to have coke in a can because it looked too much like a beer can. (My mother disputes this - my aunt confirms it) She also believed in hard work. She once made me and my cousin work all week long for a "vest" in a store that costs about $5. (Many years later, I found out that it was a women's vest)

My earliest memory in life came from my grandmother came when I was around 3-4. We were at Cook's Museum and she bought me this:

I still have Snuggles. It is my most valuable possession. I have said all this to tell a simple story about her. She had the best sense of humor of anyone I have ever met. She would say things that were so witty it made you wonder where she came up with it from.

This happened maybe a month or two before she died. She was in her recliner and by this time her mind was pretty much gone. She was pretty close to passing on. A lady named Melba came everyday and cooked and cleaned and took care of my grandparents during the day. She was in the kitchen cooking when she looked over at my grandmother and noticed that she had her eyes closed and didn't see her chest moving up and down.

She called out her name several times. No answer. She slowly moved from the kitchen to the recliner and once again said my grandmothers name and got no response. She leaned down and got up close to my grandmother to try and feel if she was still breathing. Melba was sure that this was it. That my grandmother had died right then. Just as Melba got down really close, my grandmother opened her eyes and said, "BOO!"

My parents were right. My grandparents weren't around forever. All I have left from my grandmother are my memories, snuggles and an example. An example of what's important in life and just how valuable family really is. At the risk of sounding like my parents, go see your grandparents. Ask them to tell the story of how they met. Just be in their presence, it's priceless memories.

My next post will tell a story about my grandfather. In my opinion, it is the greatest end to a love story that has ever happened.

You sure this is for me?

2008-12-25T20:33:00.001-08:00

This year we did Christmas a little different. Due to people having different schedules, we delayed opening presents until Christmas night when my brother got there. Me and my mom went and saw an afternoon movie and l finished a book that evening. When my brother finally arrived, we all gathered around and began opening presents.

One of my favorite things is my stocking. I love it because it is full of stuff that I need, but just don't want to buy myself. Stuff like deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste, etc. You get the idea. Well I was pulling out stuff left and right and loving that I wouldn't have buy this stuff down the road and then I pulled out this:

My first words after seeing this were, "This is interesting. Are you sure this is for me?" My mom started laughing and told me that it was for chapped lips. Last time I checked, CHAPSTICK is what you use for chapped lips! Not petroleum jelly! My mom never ceases to amaze me.

Here is another story of how my mom never ceases to amaze me. One fine day Susan decided that she wanted to go shopping. If my memory serves me correct she went to Wal-Mart. Susan enters the store and buys what she needs and checks out. She leaves the store heading back to the car.

First off, she could park her car directly in front of the automatic doors to where you would actually run into the car opun leaving the store and she would still forget where she parked, so to say her forgetting where she parked isn't an unusual thing.

After wandering around aimlessly for a while she finds her car. Yep, in the same spot she left it. She proceeds to walk up to the car and unlock it by pressing the remote control on her keychain. Instead of opening the driver's door and getting in and leaving like any other sane person in this world...she does something different.

She opens the passenger side door. (This is when most of us would realize something wasn't right unless we were putting groceries in the car) Once the passneger side door is open she gets in and sits down. Then shuts the door. (Please keep in mind she went to the store by herself) She sits there with her little bag in hand and purse waiting...on...who?? No one will ever know. I wish I could say that she sat there waiting for minutes, but alas I cannot. She eventually realized that that car doesn't drive iteself and that she was supposed to drive.

That's my mom. We are very proud.

My "marked change"

2008-12-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

The year 2008 will be remembered forever as the best and worst year of my life. It is the year of my "marked change". You see, I was saved at the age of 9. I remember the date and everything about it. It was genuine and I can remember the change in my heart. I was baptized 4 days later. Somewhere along the line, I decided to live my life for me and not God and remained that way until this year.

2008 was the year I made it to the final 30 of a reality show called, "The Mole". Had about a 50% chance of making it on the show and having my life change. When it didn't happen it was a huge letdown for me. I also totaled my car and hurt my back 3 days before I was going to run a half marathon. After 6 weeks of physical therapy, I then dislocated my knee cap and was right back in therapy for 12 weeks. Medical expenses drained me and the year was only halfway over. Something was going on with my "luck" this year.

It wasn't all bad though. I met a young woman and feel head over heels for her. I have never experienced a connection with someone like I did with her. It was real and emotions ran high very quickly. I was sure that this was it, and was on top of the world. What I didn't realize is that God was about to use that situation and come calling for me once again.

My "marked change" occurred in the depth of complete brokenness. Laying in my bed and having no where else to turn, I finally asked God for help and admitted that my way of living wasn't working. I gave him complete control and haven't been the same since. I claimed Romans 12:2 as my life verse - "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

I have learned more about God and myself in the past 4 months than I have my entire life. Discovering and experiencing God has been a journey of enlightenment that I never expected. Being able to share most of it with someone has been priceless.

Which brings me to Christmas. As I sit here, it is almost midnight on Christmas Eve and I am so thankful. Thankful for my family and friends. I don't believe I have ever truly appreciated family more than I do right now. Thinking back on my Christmas morning experiences growing up and remembering the sheer joy and happiness is something I will cherish forever.

I absolutely cannot wait to experience that one day with kids of my own. God is preparing me for the next chapter of my life and I am so ready for it. I desire to be a godly man more than anything.

As I look back on a year where I cried more tears and was at my lowest point, I can only praise God for it all. A "marked change" is something only God can do. I don't know what my future holds, but I know that God will be the center of it and that is the greatest blessing of all.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy Birthday Jesus. Thank you for your perfect example and the ultimate sacrifice for my sins.

Cheering for the other team

2008-12-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

There are times in my life when I catch myself looking at someone less fortunate than me and thinking, "I am glad I am not them." I continue on my way in my Banana Republic clothes driving a Ford Edge and pulling into a card access only parking lot for work.

It wasn't until church one Sunday night at Cross Point Community Church that my attitude changed. I walked in to see over 200 ex-cons and homeless people in the sanctuary. At first I was taken back a little. I sat down and waited for the service to start. The band got up and started playing then the next thing I knew I was worshipping the same God with people I thought were "less" than me.

I learned that night that everyone would be on the same level ground when looking up at the cross. Which brings me to a story that I read earlier. It's a story of a football coach at a High School that has all the best equipment, great support, and "good" kids that wanted to do something nice for a football team under different circumstances.

He arranged a football game against a maximum-security correctional facility. Not only did he do that, he asked that half the crowd cheer for them. Treat the criminals like they would their own sons. Treat them "normal". Something most of us would not do.

A game where cheering for the other side is better than winning

Must Have Winter Accessory!

2008-12-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

I don’t like coffee, as a matter of fact, I loathe it. The taste of coffee never goes away once it touches your tongue. You are stuck with it. It’s like that family member that won’t shut up. Coffee is addictive and it also stains your teeth. So now you are committed to something that turns your teeth yellow. I couldn’t even commit to a dog, how could I ever commit to coffee? I have to admit though, having that cup in your hand is a powerful feeling. It’s just cool. You look good. It goes well with anything! Have on black socks and spandex? Add a coffee cup with a sleeve and you look hot.

Recently some of my friends began meeting at Starbucks a lot. I obviously wanted to be a part of the gatherings, but it presented me with a dilemma. What in the heck do I get? Sure, I could get tea but it’s just not the same. I snuck up to the counter and whispered my order and went and sat with the group. Everything was going well until I hear this: “Signature HOT CHOCOLATE for WES!!!!!!!!!” I was mortified. My cover was blown…but I still looked cool. I had the cup in my hand.

So when you are in the office getting coffee, just know that you look good regardless of the health consequences that you are suffering. Also, if you see me with a coffee cup, please assume its coffee and don’t yell out: HOT CHOCOLATE FOR WES! Thank you.

Your life is NOT a fairy tale

2008-12-21T20:14:00.000-08:00

“Your life is not a fairy tale.” That’s what someone told me a while back. “You need to quit living in a fantasy world, because in the real world your life doesn’t work out like in the movies. Stop dreaming the big dreams. A relationship is one that takes hard work and if it isn’t working out, you try harder. Wes, your life is not a movie, it is not The Notebook.”

For a moment or two, this really got to me. Maybe I am just a dreamer that is out of touch with reality. Maybe I should just settle and not expect too much. Those relationships that seem so perfect are just a movie. A figment of someone’s great imagination. How could that ever happen to me?

Then it hit me, why would I just settle? Does God want us to settle on mediocrity? To just get by in life? Absolutely not! Psalm 37:4 says to “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

I fully expect to have a fairy tale romance. To sweep and be swept off of my feet. I refuse to settle. I refuse mediocrity. I want the very best of what God has to offer. I will not settle. I fully believe that when God is the absolute center of a relationship/marriage the “great” times will far outweigh the “good” times and the “bad” or “tough”” times. Of course it will take work, any human to human relationship does, but there will never be a feeling of “is this as good as it gets?”

Before I march out into the world and declare that God give me what I want, there is a prerequisite. You might have missed it, but it’s there. “Delight yourself in the Lord.” What does that mean exactly?

Well, in fairy tale terms, it means to be swept off your feet by God’s love. Before God can entrust you with the emotions and heart of one of his children he wants you to be fully sustainable by Him.

How can we ever be fully sustainable by God if he isn’t a part of our daily life? He is more than just an hour on Sunday’s. He is more than a wishing well. He is a father, a best friend and a constant companion.

A friend of mine once told me that the next girl he dates he wants to look them in the eye and say this: “I don’t need you in my life. I want you in my life. I am blessed to have you in my life, but I am fully sustainable by Christ alone.”

Scary proclamation, but that is the very definition of delighting yourself in the Lord.

Once upon a time...

Why “marked change?”

2008-12-21T19:33:00.000-08:00

The word revolution means a sudden, complete or “marked change” in something.

Once we decide to follow God’s will, there is a “marked change” in the way we live our lives. A rational decision to alter our lives and follow Christ. This can come when we are in our deepest brokenness or walking down the street, but there is a conscious marked change.

The children of Israel wondered for 40 years looking for the promised land. An entire generation wasted because they refused to follow God’s will. It took a “marked change” for them to finally find Canaan. Something had to happen for them to start following God’s will, they needed a revolution.

Our world needs a “marked change.” Our world needs a revolution.

What was your “marked change?”